1.布置一间书房，要一整面墙的大书柜，和你一起慢慢把它装满
2.和你背靠背，一边听我们都喜欢的CD，一边看各自的书，坐在木地板上
3.洗澡的时候，帮你刮胡子
4.你吃饭吃的香的时候，放下筷子看你一会儿
5.和你一起去西藏
6.和你一起去一趟北欧
7.偷偷用你的牙刷刷牙
8.当你下班回来说累极了，说饿得站不稳了的时候，抱抱你，然后做一桌子好吃的给你
9.和你一起照看我们的父母
10.至少有一次在大自然的怀抱里和你作爱
11、不为什么地亲亲你
12、让你做我所有作品的第一读者
13、每年春天一起去放风筝
14、经常抱抱你，也要你抱抱
15、每天早上唤醒你，或者被你唤醒
16、常常看见你的笑，还有你点头时候边摇头的样子
17、和你一起逛街，买菜，回家一起做饭
18、在街上走时和你保持身体的接触，不管是牵着手还是挽着你的胳膊，还是被你揽着肩膀，搂着腰。总之不要和你分开
19、和你一起看着我们的孩子长大
20、保持敏感细腻而知道感激的心，在很老的时候仍然会为你特意做给我的红塘荷包蛋掉眼泪，然后抱着你把眼泪蹭在你衬衫的胸前
21、和你心平气和地讨论问题，尽量不赌气，不吵架
22、听我叫笨笨，叫一切我给你起的怪名字，开心的答应我
23、夜里醒来的时候，亲亲你，不吵醒你
24、在你需要的任何时候，把我的手伸向你
25、帮你洗头发的时候，不让洗发水刺到你的眼睛
26、你看专业书的时候不打扰你
27、跟你抢电脑，然后把配置更好的那一台让给你用
28、接听你从海边打来的电话，和你一起听海风，听浪花冲到你脚上时你开心的大叫
29、买菜的时候随便买束花回家
30、你生病的时候轻声和你说话，喂你吃药前先试试水温，在你床前握着你的手念苏东坡、辛弃疾的词给你听
31、始终随身带着一张你的照片，有孩子以后就带全家的
32、每次过马路时都牵着你的手
33、只要你在家，我就不用钥匙开门，我只按门铃，我要你给我开
34、常常想着给你惊喜
35、半夜故意踢开被子，等你醒了给我盖好
36、学做更多好吃的菜，做好和你一起吃
37、打雷的时候和你抱在一起睡
38、每天都给我买牛奶喝
39、当我们吵架以后，我也许不想跟你说话，但是我要你给我倒杯茶，因为你可能会口渴
40、头发要一直保留到可以盘起来那么长，插一把簪子，每天晚上你来拔
41、和你在同一天里看了日出，再看日落
42、躺在你的腿上看伤感的爱情片，让眼泪打湿你的裤裤
43、靠在阳台栏杆上的时候，享受你从背后抱着我的感觉
44、跟你说谢谢和对不起的时候，都用真心说
45、突然下雨的时候给你送把伞或者去接你下班
46、忘记了存折、IP卡密码的时候大声的叫你
47、你和小孩在公园里疯的时候，我在长椅上看着你们微笑
48、认真听你说话
49、万一我有意外，我从高中开始记的所有日记都留给你
50、每天早晨在你身边醒来，都要感谢上帝让我活着，并且让我们在一起
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
下班摆脱压力六个好方法
下班摆脱压力六个好方法
1.将工作留在办公室
下班时尽量不要将工作带回家中(即使是迫不得已，每周在家里工作不能超过两个晚上。
2.提前为下班做准备
在下班两个小时前列一个清单，弄清哪些是你今天必须完成的工作，哪些工作可以留待明天。
这样你 就有充足的时间来完成任务，从而减少工作之余的担心。
3.在住所门口放个杂物盒
购买或制作一个大篮子或是木头盒，把它放在住所门口。走进家门后立即将公文包或是工具袋放到里面，第二天出门之前绝不去碰它。
4.将困难写下来
如果在工作当中遇到很大的困难，回家后仍然不能放松，那么请拿起笔和纸，一口气将所遇到的困难或是不愉快写下来，写完后把那张纸撕下扔掉。
5.创立某种“仪式”
给自己创立某种“仪式”，以它为界将每天的工作和家庭生活分开。这种“仪式”可以是在餐桌上与孩子谈论学校的事情，也可以是喝上一大杯柠檬汁……
6.将家里收拾整洁
睡觉前花上5分钟收拾一下住所，第二天你就可以回到一个整洁幽雅的家了。
1.将工作留在办公室
下班时尽量不要将工作带回家中(即使是迫不得已，每周在家里工作不能超过两个晚上。
2.提前为下班做准备
在下班两个小时前列一个清单，弄清哪些是你今天必须完成的工作，哪些工作可以留待明天。
这样你 就有充足的时间来完成任务，从而减少工作之余的担心。
3.在住所门口放个杂物盒
购买或制作一个大篮子或是木头盒，把它放在住所门口。走进家门后立即将公文包或是工具袋放到里面，第二天出门之前绝不去碰它。
4.将困难写下来
如果在工作当中遇到很大的困难，回家后仍然不能放松，那么请拿起笔和纸，一口气将所遇到的困难或是不愉快写下来，写完后把那张纸撕下扔掉。
5.创立某种“仪式”
给自己创立某种“仪式”，以它为界将每天的工作和家庭生活分开。这种“仪式”可以是在餐桌上与孩子谈论学校的事情，也可以是喝上一大杯柠檬汁……
6.将家里收拾整洁
睡觉前花上5分钟收拾一下住所，第二天你就可以回到一个整洁幽雅的家了。
Friday, December 14, 2007
别贬损你的伴侣
别贬损你的伴侣
别贬损她的行动或感觉。这并不是说你不能提出异议，汉卓力克斯博士说道，这是指当尊重伴侣的感受及立场时，你也要学着提出不同意见。
怎么做呢？
练习以"我"开头的句子取代"你"开头的句子。换言之，"你真是不体贴、自我中心、不可信赖的家伙。"，可换成"我很生气你未遵守诺言，下班后竟没来接我。"毕佛说道，后者是告诉你的伴侣你的感受。前者则是攻击对方的人格。如果以后者表达感受，一般可增进亲密感，攻击人格则会破坏亲密感并将拒此人于千里之外。
学习表达感受的用语
当你恼怒时，学习正确地说出该事件令你有何感受，而不是辱骂或怨恨让你感到不悦的人，另外，也别落于光是谈论你对对方的感觉，更要将对方做这件事时使你产生的感受说出来，无论你多想攻击对方，你都要了解攻击不会使你得到更多的爱。但正面地将挫折感发泄出去则有助于建立亲密感，毕佛说道。
别贬损她的行动或感觉。这并不是说你不能提出异议，汉卓力克斯博士说道，这是指当尊重伴侣的感受及立场时，你也要学着提出不同意见。
怎么做呢？
练习以"我"开头的句子取代"你"开头的句子。换言之，"你真是不体贴、自我中心、不可信赖的家伙。"，可换成"我很生气你未遵守诺言，下班后竟没来接我。"毕佛说道，后者是告诉你的伴侣你的感受。前者则是攻击对方的人格。如果以后者表达感受，一般可增进亲密感，攻击人格则会破坏亲密感并将拒此人于千里之外。
学习表达感受的用语
当你恼怒时，学习正确地说出该事件令你有何感受，而不是辱骂或怨恨让你感到不悦的人，另外，也别落于光是谈论你对对方的感觉，更要将对方做这件事时使你产生的感受说出来，无论你多想攻击对方，你都要了解攻击不会使你得到更多的爱。但正面地将挫折感发泄出去则有助于建立亲密感，毕佛说道。
Thursday, December 13, 2007
相爱到永远的秘诀
温文多礼是必要的
理想的伴侣，首先是婚前的真诚相爱，其次便是在婚后，彼此注意礼貌。贤惠的妻子，对待你自己的丈夫，像对待客人一样，文雅有礼。相信任何一个做丈夫的，都是最怕泼妇、悍妇、长舌妇了。
幸福婚姻是创造的
婚姻的质量取决于双方在顺境和逆境中对待对方的方法。爱决不是静止的，她或是生长，或是衰落。幸福夫妻懂得，他们的爱情的生命力在于自己的责任。他们是寻求持久爱情的积极参与者。
果人们之间不发展共同的兴趣和价值观，他们互相之间就会生厌。夫妻感情像一丛缓慢燃烧、暖人心房的火焰。如果没有和善、体贴、交流、互相适应习惯、共同参加一些活动、价值观的一致和相互尊重，那么夫妻感情就不可能存在。已婚夫妇要互相接受，互相理解，就必须建立一个行动、习惯和经验的“共同支柱”，而放弃浪漫观点的不切实际的幻想
爱不是责怪
热恋中的男女往往把结婚想得很单纯。如果一切如意，他们觉得这是由于自己的选择正确；如果不如意，他们也知道这是自己行为的结果。
冲入围城的女人，如果一不小心，就会把丈夫当做抱怨的对象：“我的不幸福是由你造成的。”
其实，找出他的缺点比检查自己怎样造成了自己的不幸更为容易。这样的抱怨不仅不公正，而且使自己更加不幸，因为它会促使丈夫对爱情热度的降温。
不要容忍自己落入抱怨的陷阱，不能让抱怨在你的生活中占据一个更为牢固的地位。
爱是无私的奉献
互爱需要在给予与接受之间取得平衡，自发的无私奉献是爱的本质。
真正的爱要求双方把握自己的需要，同时对对方的需要作出反应——不是无休无止的，不是单方面的，但却是经常的。事实上，当你能够给予对方而不是单纯地接受时，你会真正感到自己生活在爱恋中的幸福。最幸福的婚姻是百分之百地给予、又百分之百地接受的夫妻。
爱是宽容
家庭这个人生舞台并非是艳阳高照，时而也会有阴雨雪天的时候。几乎所有的夫妻都会经历拌嘴、吵闹这台戏。这台戏会演两种结果：要么原谅，要么慢慢积怨成恨。爱情若要长久，夫妻必须能够原谅。简单地把伤害和失望搁置起来或不去想它就是原谅、宽容的最好表现形式。对对方的行为辩解并不是原谅。原谅是对怒气和伤害的真诚的、自愿地放弃。宽容对于爱情火花的重新燃烧是必不可少的氧气。
爱情最重要的法则在于：为了你的爱人和你本人，朝着增进自我价值、尊严和完善的方向去做。当你对自己感到满意时，你就拥有使爱情真正鲜活所必须的信念和个人满足。
理想的伴侣，首先是婚前的真诚相爱，其次便是在婚后，彼此注意礼貌。贤惠的妻子，对待你自己的丈夫，像对待客人一样，文雅有礼。相信任何一个做丈夫的，都是最怕泼妇、悍妇、长舌妇了。
幸福婚姻是创造的
婚姻的质量取决于双方在顺境和逆境中对待对方的方法。爱决不是静止的，她或是生长，或是衰落。幸福夫妻懂得，他们的爱情的生命力在于自己的责任。他们是寻求持久爱情的积极参与者。
果人们之间不发展共同的兴趣和价值观，他们互相之间就会生厌。夫妻感情像一丛缓慢燃烧、暖人心房的火焰。如果没有和善、体贴、交流、互相适应习惯、共同参加一些活动、价值观的一致和相互尊重，那么夫妻感情就不可能存在。已婚夫妇要互相接受，互相理解，就必须建立一个行动、习惯和经验的“共同支柱”，而放弃浪漫观点的不切实际的幻想
爱不是责怪
热恋中的男女往往把结婚想得很单纯。如果一切如意，他们觉得这是由于自己的选择正确；如果不如意，他们也知道这是自己行为的结果。
冲入围城的女人，如果一不小心，就会把丈夫当做抱怨的对象：“我的不幸福是由你造成的。”
其实，找出他的缺点比检查自己怎样造成了自己的不幸更为容易。这样的抱怨不仅不公正，而且使自己更加不幸，因为它会促使丈夫对爱情热度的降温。
不要容忍自己落入抱怨的陷阱，不能让抱怨在你的生活中占据一个更为牢固的地位。
爱是无私的奉献
互爱需要在给予与接受之间取得平衡，自发的无私奉献是爱的本质。
真正的爱要求双方把握自己的需要，同时对对方的需要作出反应——不是无休无止的，不是单方面的，但却是经常的。事实上，当你能够给予对方而不是单纯地接受时，你会真正感到自己生活在爱恋中的幸福。最幸福的婚姻是百分之百地给予、又百分之百地接受的夫妻。
爱是宽容
家庭这个人生舞台并非是艳阳高照，时而也会有阴雨雪天的时候。几乎所有的夫妻都会经历拌嘴、吵闹这台戏。这台戏会演两种结果：要么原谅，要么慢慢积怨成恨。爱情若要长久，夫妻必须能够原谅。简单地把伤害和失望搁置起来或不去想它就是原谅、宽容的最好表现形式。对对方的行为辩解并不是原谅。原谅是对怒气和伤害的真诚的、自愿地放弃。宽容对于爱情火花的重新燃烧是必不可少的氧气。
爱情最重要的法则在于：为了你的爱人和你本人，朝着增进自我价值、尊严和完善的方向去做。当你对自己感到满意时，你就拥有使爱情真正鲜活所必须的信念和个人满足。
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Key to a sucessful Marriage
Terry
been married for 31 years, a son and daughter both happily married with children.
He wished me good-luck. For sure I needed his luck, and it is so nice of him to give me some pointers.
He said, the key is "short-memory"
been married for 31 years, a son and daughter both happily married with children.
He wished me good-luck. For sure I needed his luck, and it is so nice of him to give me some pointers.
He said, the key is "short-memory"
Never let me go - Kath
Kath is a righteous, considerate and generous. She is a tall, thin girl with a big heart. Her life was born so limited, yet she took time to explore life, friendship, loyalty, sendse of rightness, love till end.
Kath is cloned.
Kath is cloned.
Monday, October 29, 2007
New year's resolution
2007
生命长了一岁，自己也似乎成熟了一些， 优雅了一些，希望如此。但是隐约的，有些对人生的看法再改变。更平和，更豁达。其实放不开又有什么用呢，独独伤了自己。
新年又来了，希望今年的自己比去年更优雅更成熟更充实。读多多的书，做多多的事。对人更好些
I promised myself
Found from internet. 心有戚戚焉。
附：Her signature is an abstract of the famous pray:
I Promised Myselfby Christina D. Larson.
Today and everyday of my eternal life, I promise myself to be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make my friends feel that there is something beautiful in each one of them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true. To think only the best and expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
To forgive and forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievement of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature I meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of myself that I have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry,
too noble for anger,
too strong for fear,
too happyto permit the presence of trouble.
And so it is!"
译文(来自bbtree的搜寻结果)：
答 应自己 克里斯顿·拉尔森 答应自己—— 将如此坚强，任何东西都不能扰乱内心的静谧 和见到的每一个人谈到的都是关于健康 幸福和舒畅 让所有的朋友都感到各有所长 任何事物都能窥见其光明的一面 使你的快乐信条处处应验 只想令人快感的事情仅盼最让人欣慰的结局 对别人的成功像对自己的成功报以同样的欢呼 忘却以往的过失，义无返顾的争取更大的建树 将永远面带一种愉悦向所有遇到的生灵送上一份可心的笑意 将如此忙于完善自己，而无暇对他人吹毛求疵 将过于豁达，不会忧郁 过于高贵，不屑动气 过于硬朗，不知畏惧 过于快活，不容心存芥蒂
附：Her signature is an abstract of the famous pray:
I Promised Myselfby Christina D. Larson.
Today and everyday of my eternal life, I promise myself to be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make my friends feel that there is something beautiful in each one of them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true. To think only the best and expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
To forgive and forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievement of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature I meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of myself that I have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry,
too noble for anger,
too strong for fear,
too happyto permit the presence of trouble.
And so it is!"
译文(来自bbtree的搜寻结果)：
答 应自己 克里斯顿·拉尔森 答应自己—— 将如此坚强，任何东西都不能扰乱内心的静谧 和见到的每一个人谈到的都是关于健康 幸福和舒畅 让所有的朋友都感到各有所长 任何事物都能窥见其光明的一面 使你的快乐信条处处应验 只想令人快感的事情仅盼最让人欣慰的结局 对别人的成功像对自己的成功报以同样的欢呼 忘却以往的过失，义无返顾的争取更大的建树 将永远面带一种愉悦向所有遇到的生灵送上一份可心的笑意 将如此忙于完善自己，而无暇对他人吹毛求疵 将过于豁达，不会忧郁 过于高贵，不屑动气 过于硬朗，不知畏惧 过于快活，不容心存芥蒂
King Kong
超喜欢这个简单执著的爱情故事。没有人间的事故。爱上了，就不再放弃，不再改变，哪怕死去， 也死得甘愿，死的幸福。
看着你眼中有为我的泪光，一切的付出便是值得的了。为你漂洋过海，来到这并非自己同类的地方，除了爱你，没有别的目的。
看着你眼中有为我的泪光，一切的付出便是值得的了。为你漂洋过海，来到这并非自己同类的地方，除了爱你，没有别的目的。
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
On baggage
On baggage
ith the increase of wisdom, the baggage on our bag is heavier. But when our baggage is heavier, has our wisdom been increased to?
As the saying goes, "after a setback, one grows wiser". "Wiser" here means he would not take the risk as earlier. If you had failed from a long-distance relationship, you would never start anther long-distance relationship even all other factors meet?
So the same shall hold true, "the elder, the less brave". Everybody has been presented with certain opportunities, what makes the difference is that the really wise ones recongnized opportunties and grasped them.
The wise ones had looked over the setbacks and see the hope at the destination. Yet, the ordinary ones stayed where they were and lost one more change to make himself a better life. There baggague make you less aggressive, less energetic, and hence less wiser. One shall also learn to the baggage as the growth of years, and continue to march to the goal that has been set.
Like stock, past ROI does not guarantee future Similiarly, past setbacks does not mean you will not reach the goal that you always wanted.
Don't Lose Faith
Steve Job said in one of his speeches,
Men are parallet circuit, women are serial circuit
http://www.guiyanggal.com/2007/07/24/men-and-women-the-difference-between-a-parallel-and-serial-circuit/en/
Our life, just like everybody else’s, has ups-and-downs. When the life-journey of the two people gets a little bumpy, whether due to the rotten work, or the spoiled relationship, or whatnot, it’s a sign that something needs to be sorted out.
While Tim and I were working through the recent issue we had, I felt there is a fundamental difference between how men and women function. And, the different unfortunately often exaggerates the tricky situation rather then dwindle it.
Men generally function like a parallel circuit – the mind, heart and body runs their own course. No interference and unnecessary dependencies.
Men’s inherent insensitivity often either shields them from recognizing a problem most of the time or lends them a convenient escape from facing the problem.
In addition, men are naturally born hunters, aggressive, competitive and possessive. The idea of sharing common experience and emotions does not appeal to their so-called male ego. So, they usually don’t talk to each other at personal level. It’s not because they don’t have the need, it’s because they are scared to death to expose their own weakness to other male hunters. That’s why sometimes the stress from a demanding job, the frustration in the relationship, the gains or loss from the stock market greatly increases their desire to have sex. Why? Sex serves as relieving avenue for the repressed feeling, be it stress or happiness.
As of women, we function like a serial circuit – if any one component is burnt out, the whole thing does not work at all. Not just that part of our body surrounding the specific item. It’s the entire us – mind plus heart plus body. Our life is a recipe, then any one ingredient being bad will spoil the entire pot. In order for us to function again, we need to sort the problem out. Not tomorrow, not a bit later. We need to talk about it right now and right here.
According to the extensive survey I have conducted with all my girlfriends, nothing drives us more nuts than our boyfriend/husband take a passive role in a fight. If you think avoiding us can help us calm down, I will tell you that you are wrong. When we are upset, or feeling mistreated, we need a sounding board, a pair of attentive ears, a focused mind on the issue, a caring heart to spoil us, a warm chest for us to lean on and cry the heart out, a strong pair of arms to hold us, a kiss, and a “I am sorry” in the end, even though you might still be angry at us, or it’s not your fault at all…
In return, we will make it up for our men.
Our life, just like everybody else’s, has ups-and-downs. When the life-journey of the two people gets a little bumpy, whether due to the rotten work, or the spoiled relationship, or whatnot, it’s a sign that something needs to be sorted out.
While Tim and I were working through the recent issue we had, I felt there is a fundamental difference between how men and women function. And, the different unfortunately often exaggerates the tricky situation rather then dwindle it.
Men generally function like a parallel circuit – the mind, heart and body runs their own course. No interference and unnecessary dependencies.
Men’s inherent insensitivity often either shields them from recognizing a problem most of the time or lends them a convenient escape from facing the problem.
In addition, men are naturally born hunters, aggressive, competitive and possessive. The idea of sharing common experience and emotions does not appeal to their so-called male ego. So, they usually don’t talk to each other at personal level. It’s not because they don’t have the need, it’s because they are scared to death to expose their own weakness to other male hunters. That’s why sometimes the stress from a demanding job, the frustration in the relationship, the gains or loss from the stock market greatly increases their desire to have sex. Why? Sex serves as relieving avenue for the repressed feeling, be it stress or happiness.
As of women, we function like a serial circuit – if any one component is burnt out, the whole thing does not work at all. Not just that part of our body surrounding the specific item. It’s the entire us – mind plus heart plus body. Our life is a recipe, then any one ingredient being bad will spoil the entire pot. In order for us to function again, we need to sort the problem out. Not tomorrow, not a bit later. We need to talk about it right now and right here.
According to the extensive survey I have conducted with all my girlfriends, nothing drives us more nuts than our boyfriend/husband take a passive role in a fight. If you think avoiding us can help us calm down, I will tell you that you are wrong. When we are upset, or feeling mistreated, we need a sounding board, a pair of attentive ears, a focused mind on the issue, a caring heart to spoil us, a warm chest for us to lean on and cry the heart out, a strong pair of arms to hold us, a kiss, and a “I am sorry” in the end, even though you might still be angry at us, or it’s not your fault at all…
In return, we will make it up for our men.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
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