Our life, just like everybody else’s, has ups-and-downs. When the life-journey of the two people gets a little bumpy, whether due to the rotten work, or the spoiled relationship, or whatnot, it’s a sign that something needs to be sorted out.
While Tim and I were working through the recent issue we had, I felt there is a fundamental difference between how men and women function. And, the different unfortunately often exaggerates the tricky situation rather then dwindle it.
Men generally function like a parallel circuit – the mind, heart and body runs their own course. No interference and unnecessary dependencies.
Men’s inherent insensitivity often either shields them from recognizing a problem most of the time or lends them a convenient escape from facing the problem.
In addition, men are naturally born hunters, aggressive, competitive and possessive. The idea of sharing common experience and emotions does not appeal to their so-called male ego. So, they usually don’t talk to each other at personal level. It’s not because they don’t have the need, it’s because they are scared to death to expose their own weakness to other male hunters. That’s why sometimes the stress from a demanding job, the frustration in the relationship, the gains or loss from the stock market greatly increases their desire to have sex. Why? Sex serves as relieving avenue for the repressed feeling, be it stress or happiness.
As of women, we function like a serial circuit – if any one component is burnt out, the whole thing does not work at all. Not just that part of our body surrounding the specific item. It’s the entire us – mind plus heart plus body. Our life is a recipe, then any one ingredient being bad will spoil the entire pot. In order for us to function again, we need to sort the problem out. Not tomorrow, not a bit later. We need to talk about it right now and right here.
According to the extensive survey I have conducted with all my girlfriends, nothing drives us more nuts than our boyfriend/husband take a passive role in a fight. If you think avoiding us can help us calm down, I will tell you that you are wrong. When we are upset, or feeling mistreated, we need a sounding board, a pair of attentive ears, a focused mind on the issue, a caring heart to spoil us, a warm chest for us to lean on and cry the heart out, a strong pair of arms to hold us, a kiss, and a “I am sorry” in the end, even though you might still be angry at us, or it’s not your fault at all…
In return, we will make it up for our men.